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by admin

Back in the day…dancing and modeling for Sony’s VAIO.

My love for music began with dancing.

I started dancing when I was four. And the addiction with dance and music began.

I then kept on dancing on stage from kindergarten all the way to college. I stopped briefly while in university (although I still danced in clubs and all that), but I eventually resumed dancing again while I studied in London. Old habits die hard ūüėõ

I actually started singing at four as well (and performed as a vocalist quite a couple of times as I grew up too), but it was dancing that really ignited my passion for music.

I would study endless music videos to teach myself how to dance. And back then, we only had the VCR. You can imagine how difficult it was to record the music video (I literally had to wait for my favourite video to appear on TV) and it was pretty troublesome to pause the tape over and over just to learn the steps. I also played dance video games, and made sure I won so that they would play¬†the signature dance moves of my character up-close (because those ones cannot be played whenever you want, and when they play, they cannot be paused or replayed), and I would pause the game right after just to practice my moves right there before I continued to the next round. LOL. I was nuts. But you know what they say, where there’s a will, there’s always a way ūüėČ

It wasn’t always like that.

When I was 6, I asked my mom to enrol in my ballet. And, she did.¬†However, she enrolled me straight into mid Grade 1, with students who were older than me, and all who were halfway through the syllabus. For some reason, my mom thought I was at that level (she must have had a lot of faith in me…haha), but I wasn’t – I’ve only ever danced a little bit of ballet in kindergarten before that.

Naturally, I struggled like mad to catch up with the rest of the students in class. My teacher was very strict, and as she barked the instructions (or ‘commands’), I would never know what it was that she wanted me to do, because I never learnt them. This made her quite angry (clearly, she thought I knew the routine and was just being lazy or playing dumb) and she would tell me off, but I was too afraid to tell her that I didn’t know the steps or never learnt them. I was afraid that she would scold me more, or kick me out of the class and not let me learn ballet anymore; I was afraid it would be the end of dancing for me.

So I kept quiet, held my fears and tears back, and forced myself to catch up, to cope. What I did was, I’d look at what the rest of my classmates were doing whenever she gave instructions, and then followed. I basically memorised¬†their routines by heart, and then went home to practice it over and over again. It was a matter of months, but I was finally able to keep up! I worked so hard at it that my teacher started to like me (though I wished she liked me earlier), and would single me out every now and then to be an example to the class. I worked so hard at it that I excelled and passed my exams with honours. It meant the world to me.

But I wasn’t destined to be a ballet dancer.

Moonwalking – one of the moves I’ve learnt from reading a book on miming and watching MJ. LOL.

My parents had quite a lot on their plate, having to take care and accommodate the four of us, my brothers and I. As such, the weekends¬†for my parents, were really busy. And because weekends are also days we’d spend some family time, I started to miss my ballet lessons quite often. Naturally, I fell behind and had a lot difficulty coping.

At first, I started crying a lot about missing my lessons, but when my parents finally made it possible for me to attend lessons regularly again, I started crying because my teacher would constantly be angry at me for not being able to keep up after having missed so many lessons. I also cried because feeling like I sucked at dancing felt like one the shittiest feelings I could have ever felt then.

So finally, one day, my dad said to my mom, “What’s the point of her learning all these lessons if she is so unhappy learning all of them?” He had a point – it was¬†decided then.

No more ballet lessons for me.

I felt a sense of relief and a tinge of¬†sadness. It would have been more than a tinge, but thankfully, it was somewhere around then, that I began to discover hiphop ūüėÄ

Needless to say, from then on, I never looked back. Until today, I still enjoy watching and remain fascinated with ballet, but I’m so glad to have discovered other genres of music to dance to of which I feel I can truly be myself…and it all began with hiphop.

Looking back, I have no regrets having first learned ballet.

It taught me a lot about the discipline of performing arts. It also tested my love for dancing and music.

After all, nothing should stop us from doing what we love, isn’t it? And, we would always find a way to do what¬†we love, if we truly love whatever it is we say we love ūüôā

Somehow this love of mine spilled over to singing and making music over the years, and I’m thankful for that.

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It all began with dancing.